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Family of Five Traveling the World

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Panama City, Scary Marriage Ups and Downs, and Other Lessons

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PANAMA

When we arrived in Panama City earlier this year we knew it was just the city to regroup. This city is a beautiful metropolis. Each of us was quick to absorb everything it had to offer especially everything we didn’t have access to in the last two countries over 2 and a 1/2 months… cue the endless supply of Starbucks lattes. Now we didn’t visit the city to simply get a literal taste of home.

Panama City was a stop on our Queventure for a few obvious reasons: visit the canal, the beaches, and Central America’s most thriving capitol. What we didn’t realize was Panama would also be a stop full of lessons. Some of those lessons were about marriage while others were much bigger than even that.

Lesson # 1: With that many casinos, you might just need to pace yourself (husband).

Beautiful hotel and casino combos pepper the entire city. You couldn’t go very far without those shinny lights enticing you to partake. Now, I am not much of a gambler, but my husband is a different story. He gambled and boy did he enjoy it. This might seem like nothing but when you’re budgeting every single month on a fixed travel income gambling stakes feel much, much higher than usual. At least to me they did.

One night the husband was out gambling until 4am. This was not a shinning moment for us as a couple. I was so angry. It wasn’t even about the gambling, but the lack of respect I perceived when my husband didn’t bother to return home at a reasonable hour. Here we are in a foreign country after all. It’s scary to feel divided as we try to remain a supportive, dream-chasing, ever mobile team. The husband was pretty apologetic about the whole situation, but that didn’t make me feel much better. Bringing me to…

Lesson # 2: Travel doesn’t change your parenting or marital dynamics.

It enhances them. I was so upset my husband didn’t pace himself gambling so we fought, but then there we were again… just us. We can’t escape to work or friends after fights. As a traveling tribe, we get to deal with annoyances head on and then quickly find a way to harmoniously come back together for the greater good. And many times that is much harder said than done.

Lesson # 3: Take space, it is a must.

When you need space from your family you should take it. Maybe that’s exactly what my husband was doing until 4am at the casino; the jury is still out on that one. Point is, space is essential not only for our traveling family, but all families. I am a huge proponent for making sure to spend one-on-one quality time with your children and spouse, but I just can’t leave myself off that one-on-one date night list!

Panama City was a great hub from which to pop into a cab and find yourself somewhere new to dine, pamper yourself, or simply be alone. One Sunday morning, I went to mass alone and it was the most peaceful and fulfilling morning I’d had in some time.

Lesson # 4: Don’t take your country or each other for granted, just don’t.

In Panama we met so many amazing people. After a while, I began to notice an interesting commonality. Many of the Uber drivers, restaurant servers, beauticians, and on and on weren’t actually Panamanian. The majority were Venezuelans. Hardworking individuals working in Panama where according to them, the American dollar is strong.

If you know anything about Venezuela then you likely know about the years of political instability it’s faced leading to a traumatic economic crisis. Venezuelans are dealing with an employment and food shortage so devastating that most of its citizens are forced to leave their country desperate to earn a living. Imagine having to leave your birth country, a country you love, often, the only home you’ve ever known? Imagine feeling forced to leave in a state of chronic setbacks and uncertainty? Imagine leaving your beloved family behind not by choice but because of literal hunger and famine?

Every single Venezuelan I met was kind, but also clearly pained. Their longing to return home was obvious. The internal turmoil of being in a country that doesn’t fully embrace them was heartbreaking.

The many Venezuelans I met appreciated Panama, but they didn’t feel welcome and often felt attacked. According to them, the local government usually ran on platforms that singled them out as a problem pitting Panamanians against Venezuelans. This sentiment reminded me so much of the current American rhetoric where a sector of our country is being singled out and blamed: Muslims, Dreamers, Mexicans, and on and on.

Meeting so many and hearing their stories made me not only appreciate my home country, and the abounding resources, but also my fellow American citizen especially those being singled out and victimized day after day. Today, even more can be done to embrace and appreciate each other, our differences, and speak out against prejudice political platforms that only seek to divide us.

For now, if you are reading this and guilty of complaining about your job, lunch, or coworker, there’s someone right now in the world desperately wishing they had one of those three. What we so often take for granted is a blessing. Instead, let’s remember to appreciate all we’ve been afforded, no matter how minor it may all seem.

Long Term Travel with Kids: Expectation Vs. Reality, Part 2

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In part one, I wrote about some serious about-faces we’ve had during our travel. In summary, we went from:
Before we started we imagined ourselves some kind of quasi-backpacking family – agile and light! Yeah right.

What happened?

As great as the idea to travel “light” was, it really didn’t jive well with our reality. Traveling with young kids made it difficult to just suck it up and deal with some of the inconveniences of not carrying much. For example, simple concerns like, worrying if our kids would be cold, meant traveling with additional sweaters and coats. We started off with just a couple of stuffed animals as toys and now we have a collection of 40+ Hotwheels:

I know, it’s ridiculous. However, it does bring some sense of consistency to our kids, especially our youngest, so we decided it’s worth it.
We started off with one pair of shoes for everyone and now we have those pairs… plus sandals, water shoes, rain boots and some sexy AF heals I bought my wife for a party we attended in Guatemala. Stilettos are not easy to pack, let me tell you.
In essence we decided the convenience of packing light was not worth the inconveniences of not having what we needed, especially with our kids. Or conversely, the inconvenience of traveling with so much stuff does not outweigh the benefit of having some important but not essential items with us.
If you’re planning a similar trip, I would advise you to think long and hard about this decision. We chose wrong to begin our trip and unfortunately it cost us time and money as we ended up re-purchasing some items we gave away before leaving. I believe either way works, you should just be clear on the sacrifices and benefits of each.

Homeschooling

The other decision we completely reversed was how we were going to homeschool. As I mention in part 1, our initial plan was to be as paper/book-less as possible and do everything online. Nope. We quickly realized Wi-Fi can be painfully slow at best and completely unreliable at worst, even when we only stay at places were Wi-Fi is “available.” When schooling was dependent on internet access, this became a serious problem. The solution? Good ol’ trusty paper and textbooks. Pain in the ass to lug around but an incredibly effective way to guarantee school continues. If you’re thinking about homeschooling as well. Keep this in mind. Being fully online is great… if you can get online.
School To-Go

Location Duration

Lastly, we have completely changed how and for how long we travel. Initially we set out to visit a location for a week or so, maybe 10 days. The idea was to cram it all in, not unlike we used to plan our vacations. Now, we’ve just begun a 6-week stay in Costa Rica. Big difference. But why? In no particular order – cost, convenience and effort.
Cost: although we are enjoying an indefinite travel adventure, we are still on a budget. We factor in the cost of housing into our decision as it obviously plays a major role in how we spend our money. One thing we discovered was the many AirBnBs offer substantial weekly and monthly discounts. For example, the beautiful colonial home we stayed in Nicaragua had a price of $80 per night. However, if you booked a week there was a 25% discount and if you booked a month, the discount was a whopping 65% off. Essentially, booking a month cost us the same as if we only stayed two weeks. We stayed at a beautiful home for a month at the equivalent of about 10 days at regular price. Bam!
This type of deal isn’t unique either. We’ve learned the longer we stay at a place the more cost effective, and not by just a little. The longer stays have allowed us to take “mini-trips” within the greater stop, as we did in Nicaragua. Yes, we do end up paying for a home we are not sleeping in but the net effect on our budget is the same – with the added benefit of being able to see a different part of the area.
Additionally, we don’t have to drag the 2-tons worth of luggage during these mini-trips. We’ve reduced the amount of travel days, AKA “how-long-will-it-take-for-dad-to-blow-a-gasket” days. Win/Win for everyone.
Again, I highly encourage you to think about what you’d like to get out of your prolonged travel. Extended stays are both cost-effective and stabilizing while at the same time may “limit” the amount of places you see. We feel the benefits easily outweigh the cost but you’ll have to decide for your self.
All in all, this trip has been an incredible learning experience. We’ve made our mistakes and hopefully we’re learning and growing from them. There are plenty more but the above three have really been eye-opening for us.