Queventure.com

Family of Five Traveling the World

opinion

Go ahead: tell me something “can’t” be done!

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Don’t you just love when someone doubts your ambitions? Notice the sarcasm there? I don’t necessarily love it, but I sure get crazy inspired. For some of us, being told we can’t do something is the actual fuel propelling us forward like a well-oiled machine.
My first experience with this happened to me when I was a sophomore in high school. Out of nowhere I decided to run for homecoming princess. It was a competitive, election process, with a handful of popular young girls vying for the tiara. My boyfriend at the time attempted to talk me out of it. In his usual kind and calming manner, he reminded me of all the other girls running: “So and so is popular and hard to beat!” His faithless statements didn’t inspire confidence in me as his girlfriend, but they also didn’t deter me. I thought to myself… well, we’ll have to see about that!?! Full speed ahead I ran, full speed ahead I WON. Him telling me I couldn’t win, and how I felt in that juvenile moment, made a permanent impression on me.
It was then that I learned something important about my personality… I didn’t like being told I couldn’t do something. Perhaps that’s why I eventually married my now husband. His philosophy is to never use the word “can’t”, but to instead replace it with “how can I?” I suppose before I knew it that’s exactly what I naturally asked myself… how can I? It also helped that other people’s opinions of me never had the power to hold me back. That isn’t to say those opinions didn’t sting. I am human, so they did and do. String or not, never letting opinions hold us back is the key.
When I left the country to travel indefinitely, I heard my mom gave us three months to fail. She said we’d be back within three months with our failure in hand. When I think about that I think quite a few things:
1. She doesn’t believe in me.
2. She is afraid.
3. She is negative.
4. She is wrong.
5. She means well.

Then, I remember she’s entitled to her beliefs. More importantly, her apparent doubts actually fuel a “how-can I!” not an “I-can’t” approach when I strive to make goals a reality. One of our most recent blog posts covers all the benefits of traveling long-term and perhaps you read it and thought “I can’t do that.” or worse, someone told you “you can’t do that.”

If deep down your “that” whether it be travel or anything else, is truly your biggest dream, then hang on to it. Believe it can be done and get after it always thinking of the “how can I?” formula. Trusting you can, and ignoring those who fail to believe in you, is the first step down a long path in making BIG, FULFILLING dreams come true.

Even better, it’s pretty darn satisfying to win when others thought you’d lose, try when others want you to quit, and learn that YOU are made of so much more than someone’s narrow definition of YOU.
P.S. Look ma’ I made it to month #6 

Long Term Travel with Kids: Expectation Vs. Reality, Part 2

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In part one, I wrote about some serious about-faces we’ve had during our travel. In summary, we went from:
Before we started we imagined ourselves some kind of quasi-backpacking family – agile and light! Yeah right.

What happened?

As great as the idea to travel “light” was, it really didn’t jive well with our reality. Traveling with young kids made it difficult to just suck it up and deal with some of the inconveniences of not carrying much. For example, simple concerns like, worrying if our kids would be cold, meant traveling with additional sweaters and coats. We started off with just a couple of stuffed animals as toys and now we have a collection of 40+ Hotwheels:

I know, it’s ridiculous. However, it does bring some sense of consistency to our kids, especially our youngest, so we decided it’s worth it.
We started off with one pair of shoes for everyone and now we have those pairs… plus sandals, water shoes, rain boots and some sexy AF heals I bought my wife for a party we attended in Guatemala. Stilettos are not easy to pack, let me tell you.
In essence we decided the convenience of packing light was not worth the inconveniences of not having what we needed, especially with our kids. Or conversely, the inconvenience of traveling with so much stuff does not outweigh the benefit of having some important but not essential items with us.
If you’re planning a similar trip, I would advise you to think long and hard about this decision. We chose wrong to begin our trip and unfortunately it cost us time and money as we ended up re-purchasing some items we gave away before leaving. I believe either way works, you should just be clear on the sacrifices and benefits of each.

Homeschooling

The other decision we completely reversed was how we were going to homeschool. As I mention in part 1, our initial plan was to be as paper/book-less as possible and do everything online. Nope. We quickly realized Wi-Fi can be painfully slow at best and completely unreliable at worst, even when we only stay at places were Wi-Fi is “available.” When schooling was dependent on internet access, this became a serious problem. The solution? Good ol’ trusty paper and textbooks. Pain in the ass to lug around but an incredibly effective way to guarantee school continues. If you’re thinking about homeschooling as well. Keep this in mind. Being fully online is great… if you can get online.
School To-Go

Location Duration

Lastly, we have completely changed how and for how long we travel. Initially we set out to visit a location for a week or so, maybe 10 days. The idea was to cram it all in, not unlike we used to plan our vacations. Now, we’ve just begun a 6-week stay in Costa Rica. Big difference. But why? In no particular order – cost, convenience and effort.
Cost: although we are enjoying an indefinite travel adventure, we are still on a budget. We factor in the cost of housing into our decision as it obviously plays a major role in how we spend our money. One thing we discovered was the many AirBnBs offer substantial weekly and monthly discounts. For example, the beautiful colonial home we stayed in Nicaragua had a price of $80 per night. However, if you booked a week there was a 25% discount and if you booked a month, the discount was a whopping 65% off. Essentially, booking a month cost us the same as if we only stayed two weeks. We stayed at a beautiful home for a month at the equivalent of about 10 days at regular price. Bam!
This type of deal isn’t unique either. We’ve learned the longer we stay at a place the more cost effective, and not by just a little. The longer stays have allowed us to take “mini-trips” within the greater stop, as we did in Nicaragua. Yes, we do end up paying for a home we are not sleeping in but the net effect on our budget is the same – with the added benefit of being able to see a different part of the area.
Additionally, we don’t have to drag the 2-tons worth of luggage during these mini-trips. We’ve reduced the amount of travel days, AKA “how-long-will-it-take-for-dad-to-blow-a-gasket” days. Win/Win for everyone.
Again, I highly encourage you to think about what you’d like to get out of your prolonged travel. Extended stays are both cost-effective and stabilizing while at the same time may “limit” the amount of places you see. We feel the benefits easily outweigh the cost but you’ll have to decide for your self.
All in all, this trip has been an incredible learning experience. We’ve made our mistakes and hopefully we’re learning and growing from them. There are plenty more but the above three have really been eye-opening for us.

Why Not Have It All?

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I’ve been a size 2 and a size 16 waist, loved my marriage and hated it. Same goes for motherhood. It hasn’t always suited me. Motherhood and marriage challenge my greatest weakness everyday: impatience. And yet this impatience is the reason why I meet goals. I meet pretty huge ones because I am always impatient enough not to. I have it all even within the limitations of my so-called weakness.
Calderitas, Quintano Roo, Mexico
Today, my family is  truly a work in progress and no matter the hills or the valleys, because there have been plenty of both, we’ve always had it all, always.
When my husband and I were so broke that we experienced eviction and car repossession in a six-month period, we still had it all. We had our love though it was tested a lot. We had our health though we neglected making healthy choices. We also had our family. At the time, our only son was 2-3 years old and he was the center of our world regardless of all the apparent brokenness that defined us. Looking back, we had it all then, and we sure as day have it all now.

Ambergris Caye, Belize
At present, we are traveling halfway across the world and though it’s assumed we’ve won some lottery or some other extreme logic that people need to believe what we are doing is possible, truth be told, what is happening today, the complete and utter blessing to have this lifestyle, is possible because no matter the circumstances we’ve experienced, we’ve always had it all. We’ve shared a mutual travel dream and worked relentlessly to see it realized. We fought ‘tooth and nail’ even when we literally fought each other. We worked to see our intense passions breakthrough and become something as real as the cool Caribbean breeze that surrounds us now.
San Ignacio, Belize
Because we’ve struggled, we’ve succeeded and can have it all; and, having it all starts with believing it’s possible while working your tail off to make it happen! You feel me?!?