critic

Don’t you just love when someone doubts your ambitions? Notice the sarcasm there? I don’t necessarily love it, but I sure get crazy inspired. For some of us, being told we can’t do something is the actual fuel propelling us forward like a well-oiled machine.

My first experience with this happened to me when I was a sophomore in high school. Out of nowhere I decided to run for homecoming princess. It was a competitive, election process, with a handful of popular young girls vying for the tiara. My boyfriend at the time attempted to talk me out of it. In his usual kind and calming manner, he reminded me of all the other girls running: “So and so is popular and hard to beat!” His faithless statements didn’t inspire confidence in me as his girlfriend, but they also didn’t deter me. I thought to myself… well, we’ll have to see about that!?! Full speed ahead I ran, full speed ahead I WON. Him telling me I couldn’t win, and how I felt in that juvenile moment, made a permanent impression on me.

It was then that I learned something important about my personality… I didn’t like being told I couldn’t do something. Perhaps that’s why I eventually married my now husband. His philosophy is to never use the word “can’t”, but to instead replace it with “how can I?” I suppose before I knew it that’s exactly what I naturally asked myself… how can I? It also helped that other people’s opinions of me never had the power to hold me back. That isn’t to say those opinions didn’t sting. I am human, so they did and do. String or not, never letting opinions hold us back is the key.

When I left the country to travel indefinitely, I heard my mom gave us three months to fail. She said we’d be back within three months with our failure in hand. When I think about that I think quite a few things:

1. She doesn’t believe in me.

2. She is afraid.

3. She is negative.

4. She is wrong.

5. She means well.

Then, I remember she’s entitled to her beliefs. More importantly, her apparent doubts actually fuel a “how-can I!” not an “I-can’t” approach when I strive to make goals a reality. One of our most recent blog posts covers all the benefits of traveling long-term and perhaps you read it and thought “I can’t do that.” or worse, someone told you “you can’t do that.”

If deep down your “that” whether it be travel or anything else, is truly your biggest dream, then hang on to it. Believe it can be done and get after it always thinking of the “how can I?” formula. Trusting you can, and ignoring those who fail to believe in you, is the first step down a long path in making BIG, FULFILLING dreams come true.

Even better, it’s pretty darn satisfying to win when others thought you’d lose, try when others want you to quit, and learn that YOU are made of so much more than someone’s narrow definition of YOU.